


Broken Hearts Under the Lights: Kuroken Christmas Special

by Seachelle (TBCSeachelle)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, None other!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:15:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28303680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TBCSeachelle/pseuds/Seachelle
Summary: It's Christmas, the most important holiday of the year for Kuroo Tetsurou (aside from Kenma's birthday.)He tries to make it perfect for the one he loves, namely Kenma, but.. things go wrong when Kenma doesn't show up at all.Can Kenma make this right? Or will this be another Christmas ending in heartbreak for Kuroo Tetsurour
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Haiba Lev/Yaku Morisuke, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou
Comments: 3
Kudos: 26





	Broken Hearts Under the Lights: Kuroken Christmas Special

**Author's Note:**

> AHH I PUT MY BLOOD SWEAT AND TEARS INTO THIS TT^TT  
> i hopes you like it :>
> 
> PS the story is MUCH better than the summary lol. It kind of took me four hours to write this so i am d e a d and i'm thinkin about inhaling a can of febreeze with Bokuto..

**Kuroo's PoV**

2:35 am

Tetsurou Kuroo [ Hey Kenma, bb, are you awake? Never mind, I know you are. Are you excited, tomorrow is Christmas Eve!!]

Kenma Kozume [Kuroo why are you awake at this hour?]

Tetsurou Kuroo [ Oya, what about you kitten?]

Kenma Kozume [ Dont call me that. go away, i'm playing ]

Tetsurou Kuroo [ So cold]

Kuroo shoved his blanket over his head, the furnace was broken. He glanced down at his phone again, waiting for it to vibrate with a response from his beloved. But Kenma clearly was ignoring him.  
Kuroo flipped over onto his back, blanket over face. "Hahh..."   
_Is Kenma going to keep acting like this, even on Christmas? I expected him to at least show his love a little bit._

* * *

**Kenma's PoV**

_blip. bleep. bleeeep._

Kenma's hands worked furiously on the video game, his eyes enlarged by the the bright screen. His phone besides him buzzed several more times with follow-up texts from Kuroo, but he ignored them.

_bleeeep._

Tetsurou Kuroo [Kenma? dont ignore me, I know you are there.]

Kenma's face screwed in concentration, about to attempt a difficult jump when- _BZZT_

Tetsurou Kuroo [Kenmaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

_didi dee...._

Kenma threw his nintendo switch angrily. "UGH! KURO!"  
Kenma angrily snatched up his phone and clicked _block Tetsurou Kuroo_

He huffed angrily and turned to his game, when his phone rang again. "What, I blocked Kuro!"

The number read, Shoyo-Kun.

"Oh.." Kenma smiled and clicked pick-up. "Hey Shoyo, wanna play Mario with me?"

* * *

**Kuroo's PoV**

_clik. clak._

Kuroo was fully awake now, typing furiously on his phone. He couldn't believe his boyfriend was actually ignoring him the day before Christmas Eve.  
_Kenma..._

Tetsurou Kuroo [Kenmaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

Kuroo rubbed his chin in confusion, wondering what he could do to get Kenma's attention. He sighed and ruffled his already messy hair. _Maybe I should try being sweet for once, instead of annoying. It is almost Christmas after all... maybe Kyanma just wants love.?_

4:00 am

Tetsurou Kuroo [Kenma..]

Tetsurou Kuroo [Kitten~]

Tetsurou Kuroo [I have something to tell you]  
_No response?  
Perhaps he's reading this right now. Yeah thats it._

Tetsurou Kuroo [I'm gonna set up an amazing date for us tomorrow night, don't forget to come okay?]

Tetsurou Kuroo [The park that's around the corner of Nekoma, the one where we had our first kiss y'know? To commemorate us being together for a year now. Please come tomorrow, love.]

No response. Kuroo smiled nervously, trying to console himself. "Yeah, Kenma must be reading this. He'd never miss out on an important date like this.. he'll come for sure tomorrow."

* * *

**Kuroo's PoV**

5:00 pm, Dec. 24

The school day had passed by in a flash, as usual, Kuroo had seen Kenma in the halls, but for some reason the air had been awkward. They went to class together in silence, had lunch together in silence, practiced in silence, then walked home together in silence. Kuroo had pointed to the turn, since Kenma didn't seem to realize they had got there already.   
"Kitten. I'll be leaving now."  
Kenma nodded, not seeming to hear, not looking up from his game. "'kay."  
Kuroo rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. "See you later then?"

He walked off towards his house, a strange, nervous, feeling, tingling in his stomach.

"Hey! Yakkun~ you came!" Kuroo ran towards Yaku Morisuke. Yaku walked up looking good in a red in green plaid jacket and leather pants and shoes.   
"Yeah of course Kuro-san," Yaku rolled his eyes. "I would've come faster if you called earlier y'know-"

Kuroo still beamed, it was probably the holidays, rubbing off onto him. "I hope you dont mind that I've brought Lev-" Yaku shrugged apologetically. Kuroo nodded. "It's cool. Hey, Lev."  
Lev beamed at Kuroo. "KUROO-SAN! MY PARENTS ARE ON A BUSINESS TRIP FOR CHRISTMAS AND I'M STAYING WITH YAKU-SAN!"

Kuroo looked at Yaku with a surprised and slightly suspicious expression. Yaku coughed into his fist, _blushing?!?_ and snapped, "Shut up Lev."

Kuroo couldn't help but laugh at how much Lev looked like an excited golden retriever, and Yaku was the exasperated owner. "Anyways guys, thanks for coming at the drop of the hat, to help me decorate for Kenma and mine's date. I want this to be memorable for him."  
Yaku nodded. "No problem, and hey I think it's pretty lucky already that the weather is this warm in Winter. Makes for a perfect picnic date."  
Kuroo nodded in agreement.   
"Wait you and Kenma-san are dating?!?" cried Lev loudly.

Yaku face-palmed.

* * *

**Kenma's PoV**

Kenma sat on the floor of his bedroom, in a comfy red Nekoma sweater(that he had borrowed from Kuroo), and leaned against his black cat squishmallow(which, coincidentally, was also given by Kuroo.)   
Kenma looked at all the things in his room, realizing more than half was given to him by Kuroo, for anniversaries, Christmases, and Birthdays. Christmases had been especially important to Kuroo.

Kenma smiled fondly at the childhood memories, feeling a little guilty how he had ghosted Kuroo the past night.

_clik._

Kenma turned on his video game and started playing, and night fell quickly.   
_Anyways, Kuroo said "see you later.." I wonder what that was about? Was he planning to come over to my house?_

* * *

**Kuroo's PoV**

6:30 pm

Yaku and Lev had left thirty minutes ago for their own date, which Kuroo smirked and gladly let them go for.  
But nonetheless, the place the three of them had set up looked _breathtaking._

  
Red and green lights were strung between two trees, over a red and white striped hammock that Kuroo was planning to cuddle Kenma on. On the ground beneath was a thick blanket, for extra coziness, a picnic dinner set up complete with tinsel(coz Christmas), and candles, and roses.  
It looked amazing, was a lot of work, but would be romantic date in all. Kuroo smiled satisfied, and picked up his phone.  
"Hmm, where is he? I guess I'll call him."

_Call failed._

Kuroo frowned. "What?" he tapped his phone again, trying to reach his pudding-haired boyfriend.

_Call failed._

Kuroo's eyebrows knit in with worry. "I guess I'll text him...?"

Tetsurou Kuroo [Kitten, where are you? I'm at the park waiting for you.]

Tetsurou Kuroo [my love, please hurry, I'm worried about you, or at least respond to me..]

* * *

**Kenma's PoV  
**

8:00 pm

"Huh, I guess he really isn't coming over.." Kenma muttered to himself. "Oh well."

Kenma shrugged and continued his game, the bleeping sounds and the light from the monitor filling his room.

* * *

**Kuroo's PoV**

Kuroo's stomach was sinking like the Titanic. Any good feelings he had had before were replaced by fear, anger, and disappointment. The lights twinkled over head in the chilly air, mocking him. Taunting him.  
Every Christmas, Kuroo tried to make the most of it. He tried to make himself feel happy, for once.

The first Christmas Kuroo was could remember, was the day his parents divorced. He remembered the screaming, yelling, crying, and all the hurt flooding through the house _on Christmas Eve._ Young Kuroo didn't understand why he had felt so bad, especially on a happy day. He had cried and pleaded for Santa to help him.  
That was when he knew, that if a Santa even EXISTED, he would be so cruel to allow Kuroo's heart to break like that.

And now his heart was breaking again. "Thanks Santa Claus," Kuroo muttered into the empty night sky.  
He exhaled slowly, his breath looked like smokey wisps of cloud. _Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't show you're hurting. Stronger than that, Tetsurou._

 _"_ But is this how it's always gonna be?" Kuroo shouted to the nightsky from his spot on the hammock. Tears were falling fast now. "Are we gonna end up like my parents, and separate on CHRISTMAS?!"

He sobbed like a broken man, cradling his head. Okay, maybe he was overreacting a little, but he knew Kenma didn't put in the same amount of effort to this relationship as he did. _Does Kenma even love me..?_ whispered his insecurites.

Fingers fumbling in the cold, Kuroo opened his phone and scrolled down the contacts. His reddened, frozen finger paused and hovered a bit over the name Kenma Kozume.  
His heart skipped a beat.  
Then it was over. 

He got down to Kotaro Bokuto, and pressed call. Shakily, he raised the phone up to his ear. "HEY HEY HEYYYY!" sounded the voice in his ear.  
Kuroo wasn't that affected by the cold but by Kenma standing up a date- a date that was such a special occasion. His eyes and face were reddened by crying and by the cold, his fingers, nose, and lips puffy.

"B-bo.." croaked Kuroo. "Can you come pick me up..?"  
"SURE BRO, AKAASHI'S COMING TOO, MERRY CHRISTM- wait, bro why do you sound like you've been crying?"

* * *

**Kenma's PoV**

8:56 pm

_bzzt. bzzt._

Kenma raised his head up, blinking slowly. "Mmph?"   
He looked at the clock, eyes cloudy from sleep. His hair was rumpled and disheveled. "Oh. I feel asleep." Kenma said aloud with realization. He flipped open his phone, which was buzzing, almost frantically.  
Kenma scrolled down through his notifs, sleepy-eyed. "Just who is texting/calling me so much?" muttered the gamer.

Suddenly his phone buzzed for the _twentieth_ time with another call. Kenma angrily hit the call button. "YES?" he cried into the speaker, now annoyed by whoever was calling him.   
"Yaku-san?"  
Yaku responded in an annoyed tone, and Kenma could almost feel Yaku rolling his eyes from the other side of the call. "Now don't you yell at me Kenma, you didn't answer all those calls. I was worried- and curious!"  
Kenma raised an eyebrow, getting up and putting on a jacket. "About what?"  
"About your special Christmas date with Kuroo of course, idiot!"

Kenma froze.  
His phone slipped out of his hand and fell to the ground with a crack sound. But Kenma didn't care.  
_What..?_

"Helloo? Kenma? You still there?" sounded Yaku's voice from his cracked phone. Kenma didn't hear anything. His mind was swirling around and he dropped to his knees, eyes wide with horror realizing what he had done. Numbly, Kenma Kozume disconnected the call with Yaku and fingered down to Tetsurou Kuroo.  
_My love.._  
He clicked _unblock_ and went to messages. Kenma flinched seeing 183 notifs from Tetsurou. 

Tetsurou Kuroo [my love, please answer me, I'm so worried!]

Tetsurou Kuroo [ kenma.. where are you? its getting dark...]

Tetsurou Kuroo [please show up kenma..]

Tetsurou Kuroo [i guess you aren't coming then?]

Tetsurou Kuroo [I set this up just for you..]

Tetsurou Kuroo [Kenma where are you?!]

Tetsurou Kuroo [kenma I hope you're safe]

Tetsurou Kuroo [Kenma, do you love me?]

Tetsurou Kuroo [.... i guess not. you've never really shown it either.]

Tetsurou Kuroo [I'm sorry you felt pressured to date me]

Tetsurou Kuroo [i guess i'm not that important to you..]

Tetsurou Kuroo [Please stay safe]

and finally..

Tetsurou Kuroo [Kenma i love you.]

A sob built up and escape Kenma's throat. _Oh my gosh.. Kuroo- What have I done?!_  
Kenma knew how important this was to Kuroo. He should've treated Kuroo so much better. "Kuroo!" cried Kenma hugging his knees to his chest. _WHAT HAVE I DONE!?!?  
  
_Frantically, Kenma unlocked his cracked phone case, tears slipping down his cheeks. "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry!"  
He texted every number he knew.  
Kozume Kenma [WHERE IS KUROO?]  
He must've sounded like a maniac, at least, not even Kenma, but Kenma didn't care. He had to find Kuroo. Tears fell hard and fast, and blurred his vision. He clicked like a crazy person.  
Finally, he clicked Keiji Akaashi.

"Hello?"

"AKAASHI! WHERE IS KUROO? DO YOU KNOW?" Kenma sob/screamed into the phone.   
"Yes. I know." Akaashi didn't sound surprised to hear Kenma like that, and Kenma was surprised. Akaashi's voice was cold and formal like a cut diamond.   
_So he knows.. what I did to Tetsurou. To be honest, I deserve his hate._

"Please Akaashi... tell me where he is."

Kenma could hear Akaashi sigh on the other line. "Haven't you hurt him enough Kenma?"  
Kenma gulped down his pain. "I know. I just-"

Akaashi cut him off. "He's with Bokuto.. at my house."

Kenma flinched in surprise. He would have dashed out at once, but Akaashi had told Kenma where. Even though he knew what Kenma had done to Kuroo. "Th-thank you Akaashi." said Kenma, numbly and weakly. "I-I.. I'm sorry."

Akaashi's voice was clipped, yet Kenma felt a sort of understanding side to it. "Tell that to _Kuroo_."

Kenma nodded, even though Akaashi couldn't see him, wiped his tears and ran out. 

* * *

**Kenma's PoV**

9:30 pm

All Kenma was wearing was a thin hoodie, and the weather must've been below zero, but Kenma didn't stop running the whole way. The neighborhoods passed by like a flash, all Kenma could feel was his pounding heart whispering _Kuro, Kuro, Kuro_ and the dam of tears threatening to overflow.   
He gulped down his guilt, trying to think of what he would do when he saw Kuro. He huffed, his breath silver in the cold, and his cheeks red and flushed.

Kenma stopped, gasping for breath in front of Akaashi's house. A silver car, an old civic that he knew so well, a civic which the owner had said, "It's not in fashion, but it's super cool! Cool enough for an ACE!" about it, was pulling out of the driveway.

Bokuto's car.

And Kenma could barely make out the shadowy outline of a spiky head...

"WAIT!" he cried, his fast calculating brain knowing what was about to happen. "KUROO!"

He slipped in the snow as he ran forward, and fell to the ground.   
Kenma got up a little, snow on his nose and bruises on his legs and face. But none of that compared to the pain.. of seeing the silver civic drive away.

Kenma's heart collapsed.

10:00 pm

Kenma didn't know if Akaashi was inside the house, or if anyone was watching, but he didn't care either way. Pain filled his body and exited through his eyes. He cried until he could barely see.  
He sat in the snow, heartbreak and pain wracking his body. _It can't end like this-!_

Kenma sobbed so hard it felt like his lungs and heart were breaking. "I'm too late!" he screamed to the stars.  
He was filled with self-loathing and horror at what he had done.  
He faced the snow, head-bowed, tears melting the area in front of him. "DAMMIT KOZUME!" he screamed at himself. "I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! YOU TERRIBLE PERSON! HOW COULD YOU- ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS SHOW KUROO THAT YOU LOVED HIM.. SO MUCH! BUT YOU HAD TO BE SUCH AN IDIOT AND NEGLECT YOUR OWN BOYFRIEND AND NOW-"

Kenma stared at his own reflection in a puddle of tears that was quickly turning to ice. Realization made everything hurt ten times worse. "YOU LOST HIM. I LOST HIM. I'M TOO LATE."  
Kenma buried his head in his snow-covered knees and sobbed, hurting from every joint in his body.

* * *

**Kuroo's PoV**

9:30 pm

Kuroo sat numbly on Bokuto's couch as Bokuto put his arm around his best bro, laughing and watching the TV. Kuroo tried to chuckle weakly from time to time, but his heart wasn't in the movie.Akaashi stepped out of the kitchen, he had been on the phone with someone. "Bokuto-san." Akaashi called his boyfriend.

Bokuto took his head out of the popcorn bucket and smiled brightly at his boyfriend. "What is it 'Kaashi?"

"We need to go." 

Bokuto scratched his silver hair confused. "Huh? Go where? Now? Why?"  
"Just because," was his reply. Akaashi put on his glasses and shot a knowing look at Kuroo. Kuroo's expressionless face changed for the first time since Kenma stood him up, and he raised an eyebrow.

_What was that?_

With Bokuto still looking confused, Akaashi and Bokuto put on their clothes, and started heading out the door. Both Kuroo and Bokuto looked bewildered, but Akaashi grabbed Bokuto's arm and started dragging him out of the door. "We'll be back later Tetsurou-kun," Akaashi called. "Call me if you need anything, and stay safe okay?"

Still confused, Kuroo nodded bluntly. "Bye.. then?"

Akaashi nodded and grabbed a blabbering Bokuto.  
_Slam!_   
Kuroo sat on the couch, still looking bewildered. "What was that?" he wondered aloud. Then there was a WHOOSH! and Bokuto's silver civic took off.

Kuroo shrugged hesistantly and sat back, sighing. Bokuto and Akaashi had been so good to him, distracting him, trying to heal his heart. But now he was alone with his thoughts and all he could think about... was Kenma's sparkling golden eyes.  
A tear slipped down Kuroo's nose.

10:41 pm

Kuroo finally put on a woolen jacket and ambled out of Bokuto's house. His hypothermia was almost completely cured, thanks to Akaashi's quickness in picking him up, but he hadn't been that excited to go back out into the cold.  
Still, for some reason, he felt compelled to get out now. He exhaled, his warm breath splitting the cold air. 

Kuroo tipped his head up and looked at the stars. But suddenly, he heard faint.. crying?

He stumbled through the snow in the direction of the soft sobbing sounds. It seemed like someone was buried.. under.. the snow?

Confused Kuroo dug apart the snow, and his breath nearly stopped. His brain froze. He didn't know what to make of this.. Kenma Kozume, almost completely buried under snow?  
Kenma looked as beautiful as ever, pale skin, soft hair,nd but his skin was so cold to touch. Kuroo overcame his shock. "You idiot.." 

He quickly picked up Kenma, who's eyes were closed, and he seemed to be unconcious. "How could you get this sick?"

10:50 pm

Kenma's breathing seemed to had gone back to normal, but Kuroo stayed by his lover's side, nursing him, trying to make him better.  
_Please wake up Kenma.._   
"You idiot.." murmured Kuroo. "Why were you out there? Why were you crying.. what were you doing, kitten..?"

Kenma coughed a little. Kuroo twitched, waiting expectantly for Kenma to wake up. Kenma's eyes remained stubbornly closed, and his brow was narrowed, as if he was in pain.   
Suddenly out of the blue, Kenma let out a loud wail, of pain and sadness. Kuroo's eyes widened. He sat down on the bed, close besides Kenma, and grabbed his hand.

"Kenma! Are you alright? Can you speak? Does it hurt??" Kuroo knit his brow with worry. Just in case, he flung an extra blanket over Kenma. Kenma coughed again.  
"K-Kuro-!" he wailed in his sleep. Kuroo raised an eyebrow with worry, and put his hand on Kenma's head. He gasped.   
"Kenma you have a fever!" Kuroo began to get up, so he could rush to Akaashi's kitchen and get medication. _He's burning up.._

But something caught onto his jacket. Kuroo looked down to see Kenma holding onto him. Kenma's breath was heavy with pain, and his eyes were half open and clouded over. Kuroo couldn't even tell if Kenma was fully concious.  
Either way, Kenma seemed like the fever had really taken over him.

Disorientated, Kenma cried, real tears running down his hot cheeks, "Kuroo don't leave me all alone."

Kuroo's eyes widened.

And he was there on the bed, right besides Kenma, stroking Kenma's hair, bringing Kenma close to him. Kuroo didn't know if Kenma was talking about now, or..   
But either way. "I will never leave you, Kenma." Kuroo murmured, his lips against Kenma's hair.

Kenma seemed to give a little relaxed sigh in relief.  
Kuroo and Kenma stayed comfortably nestled together for a few minutes, before Kenma, in his feverish state, unexpectedly spoke again.  
"Kuroo.." he said softly. Kuroo's eyes flew open. "Yes kitten?"

"Do you hate me?"

Kuroo looked down at Kenma, who didn't seem fully concious. His eyes were closed, his fever was steady, but his voice was clear.  
_Is Kenma only acting like this because of the fever?_

Even so, Kuroo stayed close to Kenma, nearly forgetting about the date, eyes closed. "No. Never."

"K-Ku.." Kuroo blinked in surprise to see Kenma was crying. Tears ran down the smaller boy's cheeks and sobs escaped from his mouth. Kuroo's heart broke all over again. He put his hand against Kenma's cheek.   
"D-don't cry.."

Kenma didn't seemed to hear. He kept rambling, with a feverish little slur.

"Kuroo.. even though sometimes, I act cold, and I'm selfish, I'm so bad to you, I love you."

Kuroo flinched and his eyes widened. "Kenma?"

"I know I hurt you, even when you treat me so well, I don't treat you the same way. I don't blame you for questioning how much I love you, when I really don't deserve someone like you at all.."  
Kuroo nearly forgot that Kenma was saying this in a feverish ramble and froze, trying to process Kenma's words. 

"..."

"Kuroo, I'm begging you. No matter how much I treat you with indifference, rudeness, and my addiction to games, please.. please don't cast me aside. I beg you.."  
Kenma and Kuroo were now no more than two inches away, Kenma's golden eyes were open, full of tears, staring into Kuroo's shocked brown ones.  
"Don't leave me Tetsurou.. I love you.. more than you will ever know.. don't leave me all alone please."

* * *

**Kenma's PoV**

11:45 pm

"Mmph!" Kuroo's lips caught his in a warm, tender embrace. It tasted like cinnamon, and Kenma's face blazed like the fireplace. A tear trickled down his cheek, and Kenma kissed Kuroo.  
Kuroo put his arms around Kenma, breaking off from the kiss. "Do you forgive me?"  
Kenma blushed a little, and not from the fever. He looked away, tears still lingering on his face. "I think I should be asking for your forgiveness instead. I hurt you so much, and I knew about it. I.. hate myself."

Kuroo frowned. "I don't care."

Kenma whipped his head back around. "What?"

Kuroo smiled softly, sweetly. "Even if you hate yourself, I don't. And guess what?"

"What..?"

Kuroo leaned in. "I love you."  
Kenma flushed, his heart thumping. "I really don't deserve you.."  
Kuroo kissed Kenma again, and tears rolled down Kenma's cheek with happiness. _I know I don't deserve this but I'm so happy.._

12:00 am

**Kuroo's PoV**

Kuroo's heart overfilled with happiness. _Thank you, Santa Claus. Or fate. Whoever made sure, that me and Kenma are still together.. or maybe I should be thanking Kenma. I love you Kenma.  
"_I love you Kenma." he said aloud, as well.  
Kenma suddenly broke off from the kiss, expression back to blank as usual, but Kuroo knew how happy Kenma was from his eyes.

His honest eyes.

"K-Kenma?" asked Kuroo.  
Kenma smiled at Kuroo. "Kuroo..?"

"What, kitten?"

"Merry Christmas." Kenma beamed. "And I love you."  
"I love you too."


End file.
